I don’t know about you but lately I’ve been feeling a little out of sorts. My emotions have been all over the place. I was taught to never show my emotions to anyone by my family of origin. They taught me to never be upset and if I was upset something wrong with me. And I didn’t deserve to get a hug nor get any love until I straightened up.

I think back as a small child and realized I didn’t get to share my feelings. I was told how to feel and act, the way my family saw things were correct but the way I saw things were stupid and ridicules. So, I just tried to get along and do everything they said I should be like.

Once I got older, about preteen, I started to have more hormones and I rebelled. I sassed my mother, and she couldn’t codependently control me anymore. Oh, but she kept trying. We didn’t see things the same at all. It frustrated her to not have control over my words I said nor my thoughts.

Later on, when I became a teenager my mother and I didn’t get along It became more destructive. She never could figure me out. She really didn’t try that hard. All she had to do is sit with me and ask me questions about how I thought about things in life. And give me a hug sometimes would have been nice.

Now as I’m an adult woman my emotions have gotten better. Not always though I was excepting Christ would change the way I thought. I realized not long ago that the way I think is a strength. I can see people’s hearts not so much their physical appearance. I do believe God gave me that ability as a young child. And that would frustrate my family badly. They always wanted to talk about people that looked awful and didn’t think like they did about different things in life.

I feel so blessed that Yeshua taught me the way I think is one of my strengths. That I have the ability to love people just as they are and see the good deep inside of them and if they don’t have good and even if they are fooling others. I know what Yeshua says in His word that is His discernment. Gosh! I never thought I was good until Yeshua showed me this ability I was blessed with. Praise God for that.

Here I am again in my house feeling alone and actually physically alone. I have talked to a few friends and that helped. Everyone is so busy this summer with their friends and families. I do think that’s wonderful. I want to go out on a boat or in my kayak, and I could but the heat gets to me. Most people just don’t understand and really just don’t care.

My friends who are single they think being married you wouldn’t feel alone but that’s just not true. Yes, to have a husband that can fix cars sometimes and some other things around the house. I know how to fix things around the house. Just not the roof and not the cars. But I can save up and hire someone to fix things around here. My Yeshua/Jesus wants me to not go over my husband’s head. So, I won’t because I want to be obedient to my Savior. There are days when I’d like to just get things done. And not halfway and never get back to it, whatever it is to fix. It bugs me when things rarely ever get finished around here. And tools lay around for months and even years sometimes.

I know I’m complaining. About being alone and feeling alone. Is something I’ve dealt with my whole life. I know I’m not alone I have Yeshua/Jesus, right? I’m a woman that needs attention by my husband sometimes and to go out and play sometimes. Well, more than every few years. If even that. Do you know what I mean ladies? Don’t get me wrong I do go do things for just me every once in a while.

So, the life of aloneness is just part of living here on this earth. Only unless you can reach out to Yeshua/Jesus. Worship Him with your life and the deep loneliness you feel. Yeshua will be there, remember He promised He would never leave you alone. Even if you feel it right now, it’s not true. The truth is Yeshua is right next to you smiling and saying my daughter I love you with an everlasting kind of love, agape love. He will love us forever and ever.

Listen to the most recent episode of my podcast: EP 54 SPIRITUAL WARFARE WEDNESDAY ON 10 WOMEN OF THE BIBLE THAT INSPIRE ME https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmen-hansen/episodes/EP-54-SPIRITUAL-WARFARE-WEDNESDAY-ON-10-WOMEN-OF-THE-BIBLE-THAT-INSPIRE-ME-e2lsq3u

Well, here I am in my house trying to get things done around here. And trying to keep up with my podcasts and news articles and etc. I have done some things outside. I moved some of my potted plants around, I washed my old car, we call the rolling moldy turd. You know from R.V. the movie with Robin Williams?!

I know some of you may not have watched that movie, if not look it up on social media outlets. It will make you laugh even when you don’t feel like laughing. I’ve been cleaning up my closets, all cabinets, drawers and etc. I have been organizing but mostly just getting rid of so much junk. Taking some things to the thrift stores and also to the dump. Like I said so much junk around, stuffed everywhere. I don’t if you know what I mean.

So, here I am trying not to get way to hot from our weather we’re having. The weather people are saying it’s a heat way crossing our area. When I go outside when it’s super-hot, I start to swell, my hands, arms and shoulders mostly. I do think it’s part of what I did all my life. Cutting and coloring and etc. In the beauty business for way to many years. It could be the chemicals i was around too. The doctors have said that’s why my tissue swells. Maybe that’s true I really don’t know for sure but I’m trusting Yeshua will and has healed me. I’m looking forward to a new body with Yeshua someday. I’m sure you all feel the same way, don’t you?

Well, as most of you all know I don’t do so great in the hot sun. My sweet girlfriend and sister in the Lord, she asked me to go play in the sun on her mom’s new property. We were going to go on the water, but it got too late that day. But we did play some, we played pickle ball. I did have some fun with her and her daughters. Then we went for a hike up and down hills in the back of the resorts in the woods. It was ok until my arms and shoulders got swollen with lots of inflammation. My arms looked like Popeye! Otherwise, I did enjoy going and doing something fun with my sweet sister.

It was a realization for me that I really can’t go play in the sun anymore. I was sad and upset with my body. When I came home, I was hurting so bad that I was easily irritated and my hubby and I got into an argument, actually a horrible blow out! Course my hubby is withdrawing from Tabacco. And he has done this over the years without letting me know and sometimes letting me know. Now my son isn’t here this time to be the one to get the blunt of my hubby’s anger. So, guess who gets it even more? I do! Oh Yeah!! It’s been about five days now. It usually takes him two to four weeks to maybe be the man I married. We’ll see uh?!

Anyways, I’m asking everyone who reads this post if you could keep us in your prayers? Thank you so much for always caring. I know all of you ladies go through the same things too. So, I’m praying for all of you sisters. I do believe Yeshua/Jesus is here with us and teaching us to be the Warrior Women God loves. While we cry and He makes us grow and heal. Thank you, Yeshua, for all you do with your grace and mercy on us.

SCRIPTURE SATURDAY HI EVERYONE!!!!!! I HOPE YOUR DOING WELL AND HAVING FUN IN THE SUN!!!! 😃😃🤗🙏🦋🙏 JEREMIAH 31:3 The Lord appeared to me (Israel) from ages past, saying, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you and continued My faithfulness to you.

Listen to the most recent episode of my podcast: EP 51 SPIRITUAL WARFARE WEDNESDAY ON ENCOURAGING BIBLE VERSES https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmen-hansen/episodes/EP-51-SPIRITUAL-WARFARE-WEDNESDAY-ON-ENCOURAGING-BIBLE-VERSES-e2l2sfi

I know a lady I knew years ago; I got the privilege to teach her how to cut and color hair. I got ahold of her on social media. She is terminally ill she told me. My heart goes out to her. I have empathy for her because not long ago I was so sick and almost went home to Yeshua/Jesus. What I remember of this beautiful woman, she was so much fun and made everyone around her smile and laugh. Especially when we played 80’s at 8 music. We danced all around the beauty school, while I checked haircuts and taught in the classrooms. It was nice to have a godly student around to chit chat about our relationship with Christ. She is an inspiration to me. I was going through some very hard times while I was teaching there. But she just smiled, and we prayed together. I knew I could and would get through all of the craziness. I saw her as a woman of God and one I could depend on to show kindness and care to me and others.

I looked up what she’s been doing. She’s been playing and having lots of fun with her hubby and three beautiful daughters on many adventures over the years, Jesus has given her. She’s a blessed momma. Right now, she’s holding on to every moment she’s got left here. But she’s looking forward to being with Christ soon. Like I said before she is a Beautiful Brave Women of God. Please pray for her and especially her daughters and hubby to always hold on to Yeshua/Jesus through these hard times. To never forget her and to remember Christ has another plan for her but with Him in an even closer walk with Him. He loves her and she will be in His presence and in His arms holding her with admiration and telling her Well done good and faithful daughter. Now it’s time to see what I have next for you! He speaks.

So, here I am looking at all the major work that has to be done inside my house. WOW! It’s so overwhelming. We have let our house go for years, mostly because we just didn’t have the money to rebuild it. But there were other reasons too. I’m hoping and praying that my hubby can and will let go of his pride enough to hire a contractor to start remodeling on the inside. I do realize we need a roof and gutters asap! And I do believe my hubby will get someone to put on a new roof, but that’s it. He still thinks he’s He Man.

Well, my hubby isn’t that He Man like he would like to be still. He has built some awesome buildings around our house but never really wanted to work on our house at all. After 13 years or so the poor house needs attention. And now my hubby doesn’t have the stamina or effort to work on it himself. He needs a lot of help. I pray he will be able to hire someone to help him. We have the money now; Yeshua has blessed us with.

I guess I’m reaching out to ask all of you to pray and believe with me that our house will start getting rebuilt and remodeled. So, we don’t get sick from the mold spores and the floors that are falling apart all around us. We are getting older; I want us to start having fun and play and not have to always worry about the house.

I have been trying to keep holding strong in Christ. My life has been interesting lately. I have noticed I have been standing on bible truth more and more. I have also noticed the worship music has been changing subduedly. I still listen and support the radio station I listen to everyday. There has been some worship music that I thought was ok, but it really isn’t ok. I have noticed the deception in specifically worship music. There seems to be a lot of mixing of other beliefs in the music. The Lord is making me stronger in my discernment He has given me.

Anyways, I wanted share some of my thoughts these days. Like I said I have been noticing our culture has changed massively. I do think it’s time to become closer to our neighbors. Now I realize not everyone is safe. But I do believe that Yeshua/Jesus wants us to have some type of community gathering. So, like-minded people can come together and talk about what’s going on in the world. And to talk/pray about how we’re going to make it in this world. “As the world turns” toward Satan each day. I do believe Yeshua has a plan for His children and it’s going to be amazing. I am excited to see what He will do through us in these end of days on this earth we live now. Remember He has a new earth and new heavens/dimensions waiting for us. So, I am going to keep holding strong in the Lord every day I’m here.