Have you ever performed on stage or done anything radical before?
carmen hansen
Yes, I have on stage in a high school play. And I was in debate class too. I was a very shy gal. So, I tried these avenues to pull me out of shyness. I acted on stage for two semesters. I had a lot of fun but didn’t want to keep doing it. I went to debate class to learn how to speak up to people and to let them know what I was thinking of on each subject, and I realized I had a voice. My mother always told me I would amount to nothing. She didn’t realize how strong I was and passionate I am. Yeshua has taught me to have a voice of my own. I am strong as a warrior woman in Yeshua Ha Mashiach. I do have a lot of opinions maybe a little too much, well, maybe. Before I excepted Yeshua in my heart at 27years old. I used to do radical things to see if I was still alive. Friends would do dares for me to do, and I would go do them. Even jumping off of a bridge into the water, even though I didn’t know how to swim very well at all. Of course, I had my best friend down below to save me and she was there. Or else I wouldn’t be here. My husband and son don’t know this about the old me. I would ride a bicycle on a cliff, a rocky cliff up mountains. It’s like I tried to kill myself in a way, I guess. I did not care about much. I had a lot of pain and hate inside me. Crazy uh?! Yeshua saved me from trying to hurt myself and He sent out a lot of angels to protect me. I praise Him!!!
Living with a partner who does not value your integrity can erode your personal security and daily joy in an almost inconceivable way. It is essential to recognize that true love manifests in mutual support and loyalty, and that ignoring behaviors that damage spiritual harmony only prolongs a state of unhappiness that no independent woman, aware of her value, should allow in her life.
Setting clear boundaries against poor treatment is the first step toward reclaiming the freedom and dignity that every person deserves in an affective commitment. By analyzing these ten daily behaviors, you will be able to discern with Yeshua guiding you clearly whether you are beside someone who adds to your growth or if, on the contrary, you are in a dynamic that compromises your self-devotion and stability,
1.Constant invalidation of your feelings and opinions
A man who is not a good partner often minimizes what you feel, labeling it as an exaggeration or unimportant. This behavior seeks to nullify your judgment and make you doubt your own perception of reality. In a healthy home, communication must be a sanctuary of respect where every word is valued with honesty and devotion. Strengthening harmony and shared mental peace.
2 Lack of affective responsibility and real commitment
If he avoids talking about the future or ignores the emotional consequences of his actions, he is demonstrating an immaturity that damages the stability of the bond. Loyalty is not just fidelity, but being present and responsible for the well-being of the one you love. A man who runs from responsibility breaks the security of the home and leaves his partner in a state of constant uncertainty.
3 Selfishness in decisions that affect both of you
When his needs and desires always come first, without considering your well-being or your plans, the balance of the couple is broken. A shared life as in a team effort based on mutual respect. Selfish behavior is a clear sign that he is not interested in building a life with you, but rather in maintaining his comfort at the expense of your personal sacrifice and your peace.
4 Use of silence as a punishment tool
The famous “silent treatment” is one of the most subtle and damaging forms of emotional manipulation in daily life. Ignoring a partner to generate guilt or control is a lack of respect for the other’s integrity. Oh yes, I dislike this kind of treatment. A man who does not know how to engage in dialogue to resolve conflicts lacks the necessary tools to maintain a healthy, mature relationship as a couple in Christ.
5 Destructive criticism disguised as honesty or humor
Making hurtful comments about your physical appearance, your intelligence, or your achievements under the shield of “it’s just a joke” is a direct attack on your self-esteem. Love should be a heart for growth and admiration, not a court of constant judgment. This behavior reveals a profound lack of respect and an intention to keep you in a position of insecurity and emotional dependence. Not a good feeling deep within you.
6 Genuine lack of interest in your world and your goals
If he almost never asks you how your day was or ignores your personal projects, it is because his devotion is centered only on himself. A quality partner celebrates your successes and is interested in what nurtures your soul. Daily disinterest puts out the flame of complicity and turns the relationship into an accompanied loneliness that drains your energy and your enthusiasm for life.
7 Inability to apologize sincerely
A man who is a terrible partner rarely admits his mistakes, and when he does, he usually adds a “but” that blames you for his reaction. A lack of humility prevents wounds from healing and trust from being rebuilt. Without the capacity to ask for forgiveness and change behaviors, the marriage or union becomes a toxic cycle of resentment and bitterness. We need God to help us make good decisions.
8 Excessive control over your activities or friendships
Demanding constant explanations about where you are or who you are talking to is a violation of your independence and autonomy. The basis of mental peace in a couple is mutual trust, not surveillance. Control is the enemy of freedom and dignity, and it is usually the prelude to much darker dynamics that compromise the safety of your home and your life.
9 Inconsistency between his words and his actions
Promising changes that never come or saying words of affection that are not reflected in daily treatment is a form of disloyalty. Affective stability is built on consistency and firmness of character. A man who lies in small things or does not keep his word erodes the foundation of the commitment, leaving the relationship without solid ground on which to grow.
10 Lack of support in moments of vulnerability
If he shows annoyance or indifference when you are sick, sad, or under pressure, he is not the companion you deserve. The true face of a partner is seen in adversity. The absence of empathy and care in difficult moments is the definitive proof that there is no real love or sacred devotion protecting the integrity and spirit of the bond in Yeshua.
11 Constant gaslighting to make you question your sanity
This behavior involves distorting the truth or denying events that actually happened to make you feel confused and insecure. By manipulating your memory and perception, he gains a toxic power over your mind and your decisions. A relationship should be a place of absolute truth and clarity, where loyalty to the facts ensures the mental peace and dignity of both individuals.
12 Financial manipulation or lack of transparency
When a man hides money, controls your spending excessively, or refuses to contribute fairly to the home, he is using finances as a tool for dominance. True stability in a life project requires a shared and honest vision of resources, rooted in mutual respect. Financial secrecy or control erodes the harmony of the bond and prevents the construction of a safe and prosperous future together.
Hope I see you all there! I will be there selling my body butters, body scrubs, lip scrubs, cuticle and lip butters, massage oils, roller ball massage oils too, and some artwork and jewelry.
I will have my book on a part of my life journey for sale too. Come have a caramel apple before they all sell out. This an outside event. Thank you for coming to Apple Harvest Festival to visit me and my hubby at my booth.
I will be there on Saturday from 9 to 5. Check out the Farm tour on Sunday, my hubby and I like going to other farms and learn something that we don’t know. It’s fun to get to meet people around our community. I hope to see you all!
This is a gathering of women who want to learn about the bible. How the current events we’re seeing in the news is prophesied in the bible. I teach a group of women about the different bible truth women of the bible. We also have tea and goodies together. We discuss about the current events going on and how it fits what Yeshua/Jesus says in His word. Then we have a bible game and some other fun games together with lots of prizes. If you’d like to come check it out your invited.
This is where I will put the current date/time and where we will meet. I look forward to seeing you all sometime maybe more women will want to meet once the end of the ages gets closer, we’ll see. So, we can have a community of women to hang out with. Blessings on every Beautiful Women!
I am updating this page. Yeshua wants me to invite some women to gather in my new writing studio this fall and winter. It will be a PRAYER GATHERING OF WARRIOR WOMEN. So, we can pray over our adult children and families. I believe there hasn’t been enough prayer going on in a gathering much lately. Of course we pray alone with Yeshua, but not with each other. Father God says that we need community and support. I do believe Yeshua wants us all to find a way to gather on a afternoon or evening. Please let me know what you all think of this. E-mail me and let me know what Yeshua/Jesus says to you. We could do a zoom online gathering to pray, just a thought.
Please look down on this page, you’ll find a link to buy my book now.
MY FIRST BOOK IS GOING TO BE PUBLISHED BY CHRISTIAN FAITH PUBLISHING COMPANY.
BIBLE TRUTH WARRIOR DAUGHTER IN CHRIST = I’m in the process of going through editing and designing of the book. I’m excited to get started and then completed. I will let you all know when you can buy it and support me. Thank you for all of your prayers and encouragement. I so appreciate it!
I hope to publish another of my books soon.
Here is a way to get a copy of my new book. Called Bible Truth Warrior in Christ. I hope you beautiful sister’s enjoy a part of my life story in this book. I am working on more books right now.
To let you all know I’m just about done with my 2nd book called Bible Truth Warrior Women Prayer Journal. I’m excited to finish it in the next month. Thank you for all of your prayers. May Yeshua Bless you all!
I am writing a Newsletter to Encourage my Sisters in Christ.
I Published my First Book called Bible Truth Warrior Daughter in Christ.
You can find my book on Amazon, iTunes, Barnes and Noble and you can get them on e-book.
THINGS A MAN FORGETS ABOUT A WOMEN
Certain women leave a mark on a man’s heart and mind, shaping his perspective long after a relationship concludes. It’s not always about grand gestures or physical appearance; often, it’s the quiet, profound ways she impacted his life, his inner world that stay with him. Some women become truly unforgettable.
Her Unwavering Support During Life’s Storms
A man rarely forgets the woman who stood by him when challenges arose, offering a steadfast belief in his capabilities even when the world doubted him. This kind of loyalty and encouragement reinforcing the significance of the relationship. It’s a profound emotional support that becomes symbolic of her presence in his life.
The Profound Sense of Ease She Brought
In a world often filled with pressure and expectation, a man deeply remembers the woman who made life feel simpler, offering emotional rest rather than adding weight. Her presence calmed his nervous system, creating a space where he could exist without armor. This unique comfort fosters a deep, lasting connection, reminding him of a rare tranquility.
The Depth of Her Intellectual Curiosity
A woman who challenged his mind and expanded his perspective leaves an enduring impact. Her intellectual curiosity, sharing new ideas or engaging in profound discussions, fosters a unique mental intimacy. This connection stimulates growth, reminding him of moments when his world became richer through her insights and faith in God.
Her Authentic Vulnerability and Strength
True connection forms when a woman reveals her genuine self, balancing vulnerability with inner strength. This authenticity invites a man to lower his own guard, fostering a profound sense of trust and intimacy. He remembers the freedom he felt being truly seen and accepted, without pretense.
The Unconditional Acceptance She Offered
A man cherishes a woman who accepted him fully, flaws and all, without judgment or expectation. This unconditional regard creates a safe emotional space where he could be authentic without fear. He remembers the profound relief of feeling truly seen and loved, a rare and deeply comforting experience.
Her Ability to Inspire His Best Self
Some women possess a unique ability to see a man’s highest potential, inspiring him to strive for greater things. Her belief in his capabilities, even when he doubted himself, acts as a powerful catalyst for growth. He carries the memory of feeling capable and truly ambitious because of her influence and faith.
The Shared Joy and Laughter They Created
The memory of shared laughter and uninhibited joy creates a powerful emotional anchor for a man. These moments of pure happiness, free from pressure, form a significant part of their unique connection. He recalls the lightness she brought to his life, a cherished feeling of genuine delight.
The Unique Way She Understood His Inner World
A man profoundly remembers the woman who truly understood his inner landscape, his unspoken thoughts and feelings. This deep empathy, a sense of being ‘gotten’ without needing extensive explanation, fosters an unparalleled bond. Her intuitive grasp of his essence leaves a significant mark on his heart.
EVENTS
I will let you all know when my next book is published.
I have been talking with other store owners to set up this year for some more book signings. I will let everyone know what’s going on. Thanks for your thoughts and your prayers.
I will be at the Onalaska Apple Harvest Festival in my booth outside on October 3rd. Please come and check out my new lipsticks and autumn goodies.
I’m teaching at the Centralia Community College for the Winter Quarter.
If you’re interested sign up to the class on the college website.
These classes will be on How to Make Shower Scrubs, and my other class is on How to Make Massage Oils of your own.
This Fall and Winter I will be doing my scrubs class and massage oils class on my fun/fab Friday podcasts. Maybe some Art classes too.
HOW TO FIND ME
I can be found on Spotify, my podcast (bibletruthwarriorwomen.com) also on Riverside. FM, Pod bean, Podchaser, Casto’s, I-Heart radio, Buzz sprout, Instagram, Facebook Messenger and Telegram Pinterest. Under my names Carmen or Carmella.
My Blog (bibletruthwarriordevotionals.com)
My news articles can be found on (carmenhansen@substack.com)
Life Coaching site to schedule an appointment with me on my Blog site. Email me at writercarmenhansen@bibletruthwarriordevtionals.com
You can find me on (christianfaithpublishing.com), on my Author page to buy my book or read my Press Release.
BIBLE TEACHING CLASSES
Please Check them out. They have helped me get through this process of stepping out and being bold in Christ. I enjoy Women of Faith classes, Proverb 31 Women classes.
LIST OF MY BUSINESSES
Carmen’s Visual Effects store #1 and #2 on my Blog at (bibletruthwarriordevotionals.com)
I make all kinds of body products such as body butters, massage oils, body scrubs, lip and cuticle butters with mango butter etc.
There is a way to buy the body products online or call me.
Take a look.
It’s always good to care for yourself.
You can find my Artwork in greeting card form on my Blog called (bibletruthwarriordevotionals.com)
I take photos of nature and animals. I’ve been doing this business for a long time now. I am a birder.
Building a trusting relationship is the goal for most couples. We all want to feel understood and connected to the person we’re building a life with.
One of the biggest factors in making that happen is communication. I’ve seen that the happiest couples always take the time to show interest, check in, make space for honesty, and find small ways to make each other feel seen.
Here are eight questions they regularly ask each other to build emotional security.
1. ‘Anything special today?’
Life moves fast, and keeping track of your own schedule is hard enough, let alone your partner’s. Regular check-ins help couples stay aligned and show they care about what matters to each other.
You could also ask:
“How is your day looking?”
“Is there anything out of the ordinary happening today?”
2. ‘How can I show my appreciation for you?’
Gratitude doesn’t always have to look grand or romantic. Sometimes it’s doing a chore your partner dreads, picking up their favorite snack, or making their evening easier after a hard day.
When you ask how your partner most wants to be appreciated, you’re learning how to express love in the way they want and need.
You could also ask:
“What would make you feel supported today?”
“How can I make you feel especially appreciated right now?”
3. ‘Do you want my opinion, or do you just want me to listen?’
This is one of the most useful questions a partner can ask. People talk for different reasons. Sometimes they want help solving a problem, and sometimes they just want to vent and feel understood. Emotionally attuned partners often ask what the other person needs from them in that moment.
You could also ask:
“Can I offer some feedback, or do you want to just vent right now?”
“I hear you, and I care. I have some observations if you’d like to hear them.”
4. ‘How can I help?’
Sometimes the best thing you can offer is not a solution, but practical help. That might mean taking something off their plate, stepping in with the kids, or giving them space to rest. Even when your partner says, “I’m fine,” asking this question communicates that they do not have to carry everything alone.
You could also ask:
“Is there anything I can do to make today easier?”
“Why don’t I take care of things for a bit so you can take a break?”
5. ‘Can we make some time to talk?’
Between work, family responsibilities and daily errands, many couples spend more time managing life than actually talking about how they are doing. It could be 20 minutes after dinner or a walk on Saturday morning, ideally during a low-stress time when you can focus on each other.
You could also ask:
“I want to make sure we have time to connect this week. When works for you?”
“Can we carve out some time on Friday to talk?”
6. ‘How do you think we’re doing lately?’
Talking about the state of our relationship can be tough because sometimes we don’t want to be vulnerable or rehash old arguments. But checking in with our husband about their perception of relationship health is important to making repairs when something challenging happens.
You could also ask:
“Is there anything that feels hard for us right now?”
“What feels especially good between us right now?”
7. ‘What would be fun for us to do together?’
The healthiest relationships are grounded in play and shared joy. It can be anything from listening to a new album, taking a road trip, watching the next season of a favorite TV show, or even cooking a new recipe together can be bonding or putting furniture together.
You could also ask:
“What haven’t we done in a while that would be fun to bring back?”
“Is there a movie, show or concert you want to see?”
8. ‘What larger themes are you working through?’
In long-term relationships, we are very likely to see our husband go through many phases of life characterized by growth in different areas. Directly asking your husband what they are dealing with, moving through, or themes they’re working through internally helps keep you close to your mate as they change over time.
You could also ask:
“What’s been on your mind a lot lately?”
“How do you feel like you’ve changed over the past year?”
I do hope these examples will be beneficial to you all. Thank you for your continued support on my podcasts and blog. Thank you for your prayers too.
I am writing a Newsletter to Encourage my Sisters in Christ.
I Published my First Book called Bible Truth Warrior Daughter in Christ.
You can find my book on Amazon, iTunes, Barnes and Noble and you can get them on e-book.
Believers with High Emotional Intelligence and Discerning Abilities Tend to do these Surprising Things
Emotional intelligence and discerning ability shows up most clearly under pressure, in the choice to pause before reacting, name what you’re feeling before it escalates, and respond to criticism with curiosity rather than defensiveness. I still need more practice with this one, ladies.
Validating others before jumping to solutions is a hallmark of high EQ, it requires setting aside the impulse to fix and instead meeting people where they actually are emotionally.
Some of the least obvious markers are physical: Using movement to regulate emotional tension and deliberately seeking out distraction-free moments both signal a deep attunement to your own inner state. Where you are at the time.
Emotional intelligence often shows up in ways that go unnoticed in everyday life, from how we navigate conversations and respond under pressure to how we reflect on our own thoughts. Without going into a codependent state of mind.
It reveals itself through subtle behavioral patterns and even physical habits that shape relationships, decision-making, and self-awareness. Experts say the following small, intentional behaviors are often key indicators of high emotional intelligence.
How Emotional Intelligence Shapes Your Relationships
Encompassing skills like self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, strategic thinking, and relationship management, and emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize and understand both your own emotions and those of the people around you and navigate how those emotions interact. Without sarcasm.
While it can show up in different ways, there are often clear patterns among those with high emotional intelligence, like being attuned to the environment around you and having Yeshua’s Spirit giving you discernment. And observing people before acting or speaking and remaining calm under pressure.
In turn, emotional intelligence can support healthier relationships with yourself and others by making it easier to navigate conflict before it escalates.
Habits of Emotionally Intelligent and Discerning People
Pausing Before Reacting
Emotional intelligence often shows up in the choice to pause before responding in emotionally charged situations. “Pausing in this scenario allows a person to slow the moment down, select a response, and participate in the interaction, rather than letting the feeling that may be disruptive drive the interaction.
Rather than reacting impulsively, shutting down emotionally, or resorting to the silent treatment, someone with high emotional intelligence and discerning ability may intentionally create space before responding by asking for a moment to collect their thoughts, taking a steady breath, or lowering their tone of voice to stay grounded.
Identifying and Naming Emotions Early
This is a powerful practice of emotional intelligence because it springs from a level of emotional self-awareness and insight.
Most people have no idea they have become angry, anxious, distant, or resentful until they explode, shut down, withdraw, or act emotionally out of character.
Because emotions tend to intensify the longer, they’re left unacknowledged, naming them early creates an opportunity to address the underlying issue before it escalates.
That might sound like saying, “I feel myself starting to become overwhelmed,” or “I’m hurt by what you said.”
Validating Others
One way people with high emotional intelligence and discerning ability demonstrate empathy is by validating others without immediately trying to solve their problems. “Instead, they ask the questions that help people to identify the barriers to change and sources of motivation for themselves.”
Pausing when someone turns to you next for support and asking yourself if they’re looking for a solution or empathy. From there, the focus shifts to active listening and responding in a way that meets the emotional need of the moment.
Responding to Criticism With Curiosity
Responding to criticism with curiosity rather than defensiveness is often a strong sign of emotional intelligence and especially with great discernment from Yeshua to be able to do this technique.
Reflecting the ability to sit with discomfort instead of defaulting to protecting one’s ego. Oftentimes, when people are critiqued, they experience shame, embarrassment, and fear of being seen as insufficient. He notes that a key part of emotional intelligence is learning to stay open in that moment and consider whether there’s something useful to take away instead.
That the next time you receive criticism, try asking a single clarifying question, such as how the situation affected the other person, before responding. You still choose what you consider constructive feedback, but you’re less likely to miss the teaching moment while you’re not preoccupied with defense.
Using Movement to Process Emotional Tension
This is probably one of the most underappreciated markers of emotional intelligence and discerning ability.
People who use movement, like walking, stretching, or cleaning, to process and release emotional tension. A person who gets up to move around when they’re anxious or frustrated is demonstrating releasing of stress.
The next time you feel anxious or irritable, step away for five minutes to stretch or take a short walk. As you do this, you’ll notice your heart rate will increase, breathing may increase, feel good endorphins will flood your brain, and your nervous system will regulate.
To bring this into everyday life, pay close attention to what people are saying and consider what their words might reveal about their emotional state. An easy example is to listen carefully to what colleagues say in meetings and ask, ‘What might they be feeling right now.
Intentionally Engaging in Distraction-Free Moments with Yeshua
These days, it can feel almost unusual to move through everyday moments without some form of distraction, like driving to work without a playlist, riding the train without a book, or going for a walk without a podcast. But intentional distraction-free moments reflect a willingness to slow down and turn towards God.
EVENTS
I will let you all know when my next book is published.
I have been talking with other store owners to set up this year for some more book signings. I will let everyone know what’s going on. Thanks for your thoughts and your prayers.
I’m teaching at the Centralia Community College for the Winter Quarter.
If you’re interested sign up to the class on the college website.
These classes will be on How to Make Shower Scrubs, and my other class is on How to Make Massage Oils of your own.
HOW TO FIND ME
I can be found on Spotify, my podcast (bibletruthwarriorwomen.com) also on Riverside. FM, Pod bean, Podchaser, Casto’s, I-Heart radio, Buzz sprout, Instagram, Facebook Messenger and Telegram Pinterest. Under my names Carmen or Carmella.
My Blog (bibletruthwarriordevotionals.com)
My news articles can be found on (carmenhansen@substack.com)
Life Coaching site to schedule an appointment with me on my Blog site. Email me at writercarmenhansen@bibletruthwarriordevtionals.com
You can find me on (christianfaithpublishing.com), on my Author page to buy my book or read my Press Release.
BIBLE TEACHING CLASSES
Please Check them out. They have helped me get through this process of stepping out and being bold in Christ. I enjoy Women of Faith classes, Proverb 31 Women classes.
LIST OF MY BUSINESSES
Carmen’s Visual Effects store #1 and #2 on my Blog at (bibletruthwarriordevotionals.com)
I make all kinds of body products such as body butters, massage oils, body scrubs, lip and cuticle butters with mango butter etc.
There is a way to buy the body products online or call me.
Take a look.
It’s always good to care for yourself.
You can find my Artwork in greeting card form on my Blog called (bibletruthwarriordevotionals.com)
I take photos of nature and animals. I’ve been doing this business for a long time now. I am a birder.
I am writing a news journal to encourage my sisters and brothers in Christ. I published my first book called Bible Truth Warrior Daughter in Christ. You can find my book on Amazon, iTunes, Barnes and Noble and you can get them on e-book.
Couples who ‘truly trust’ each other never use these 8 phrases
Trust is the foundation of emotional intimacy and long-term connection in romantic relationships.
When you trust your mate, you believe that they will follow through on their commitments. But it’s also shaped by your past experiences and emotional patterns. For example, if you experienced betrayal in a previous relationship, you might find it harder to believe others can be counted on, even when they can.
1. ‘Do you love me?’
Constantly asking for reassurance may be a sign of insecurity or codependency. Even if your mate answers “yes,” it might not feel genuine, especially if you had to ask.
If you trust your mate cares about you, share with them that you’re feeling vulnerable and want connection.
Instead, they say:
“I’m feeling a little vulnerable. Can I get a hug?”
“It’s important to me that we express how we feel. How are you feeling about us lately?”
2. ‘Let me see your phone.’
It can be tempting to do a “check-up” when you feel suspicious. But snooping signals a lack of trust. In healthy relationships, privacy is respected. You both have the right to your own space and communication.
Instead, they say:
“I’m sensing something’s off. Is there something you’re not telling me?”
“I noticed you got some late-night texts. Everything okay?”
3. ‘I don’t even know you anymore.’
We’re always growing and changing. It’s a part of life. In relationships rooted in trust, change is seen as an opportunity to evolve together over time.
Instead, they say:
“I didn’t know that about you.”
“Even after all this time, I’m still learning about you. I love that.”
4. ‘Don’t leave me.’
Commitment is important. But if dysfunction lasts over time, your partner may leave (or vice versa!). You want to trust that your partner will stay because they choose to, not because you’ve guilt-tripped, manipulated, or begged them to do so.
Instead, they say:
“I trust that we can get through this tough time.”
“If you ever feel this relationship isn’t right, it will be hard for me. But I’ll get through it.”
5. ‘I can’t talk to you about this.’
Couples who trust each other are willing to talk about anything, no matter how painful or uncomfortable it might be. They trust that their partner be respectful and stay connected even if they disagree.
Instead, they say:
“I know I can tell you anything.”
“Thank you for loving me, even when it’s hard.”
6. ‘Text me every hour.’
Couples who trust one another give each other space. This means they don’t need constant check-ins to feel secure. They know that their partner is okay and even thriving when they are physically apart.
Instead, they say:
“Have fun tonight!”
“Shoot me a text when you’re heading home.”
7. ‘I’m done with you.’
Relationships go through highs and lows. Saying “I’m done” in the heat of an argument can cause long-term damage. Couples who trust each other don’t make empty threats, and they know that one tough moment doesn’t mean the relationship is over.
Instead, they say:
“We’ll figure this out.”
“I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got your back.”
8. ‘You should know why I’m upset.’
Expecting your partner to read your mind isn’t fair. Communication is key to any successful relationship. If you trust your partner, you stay engaged and talk to them respectfully.
Instead, they say:
“Here’s why I’m upset.”
“I need a moment to cool off, but I’ll come back when I’m ready to talk.”
EVENTS
I will let you all know when my next book is published.
I’m teaching at the Centralia Community College for the Fall quarter.
If you’re interested sign up to the class on the college website.
These classes will be on How to Make Shower Scrubs, and my other class is on How to Make Massage Oils of your own.
HOW TO FIND ME
I will let you know when more book signings are going on. I can be found on Spotify, my podcast (bibletruthwarriorwomen.com) also on Riverside. FM, my Blog called (bibletruthwarriordevotionals.com)
My news articles can be found on (carmenhansen@substack.com)
Life Coaching site to schedule an appointment with me on my Blog site. Email me at writercarmenhansen@bibletruthwarriordevtionals.com
You can find me on (christianfaithpublishing.com), on my Author page to buy my book or read my Press Release.
I have my book also at Book and Brush book store in Chehalis, Wa.
MY SOCIAL MEDIA SITES
Facebook, Instagram, Telegram and Linked in.
Under Carmen Hansen.
BIBLE TEACHING CLASSES
Please Check them out. They have helped me get through this process of stepping out and being bold in Christ. I enjoy Women of Faith classes, Proverb 31 Women classes.
LIST OF MY BUSINESSES
Carmen’s Visual Effects store #1 and #2 on my Blog at (bibletruthwarriordevotionals.com)
I make all kinds of body products such as body butters, massage oils, body scrubs, lip and cuticle butters with mango butter etc.
There is a way to buy the body products online or call me. Take a look. It’s always good to care for yourself.
You can find my Artwork in greeting card form on my Blog called (bibletruthwarriordevotionals.com)
I take photos of nature and animals. I’ve been doing this business for a long time now. I am a birder.
Bible Truth Warrior Daughter in Christ. I am selling my book independently.
My book is at International shows now.
I am praying for you all! Thank you for subscribing to my News Journal. I hope that it will encourage you to know you’re not alone in these end of days.
I am writing a news journal to encourage my sisters and brothers in Christ. I published my first book called Bible Truth Warrior Daughter in Christ. You can find my book on Amazon, iTunes, Barnes and Noble and you can get them on e-book.
The Six Types of Mothers-in-law and How to get along with each one
Relationships with mothers-in-law can be complicated, especially for daughters-in-law.
By setting boundaries, couples can potentially avoid bigger conflicts and even estrangement.
More often, daughters-in-law desired to get along better with their mothers-in-law.
Women tend to be in charge of communicating and organizing events on behalf of the family.
They’re the ones sending the text to coordinate the upcoming holiday event.” As a result, there can be more friction between the two women if they clash on family traditions or the best way to raise your kids.
From years of experience, I have identified six main types of mothers-in-law. The idea is not so much that we put people in boxes. It’s so we can understand what behavior is showing up.
Some families, even after cutting off contact have reconciled after recognizing certain patterns and getting on the same page.
The Martyr gives a lot, with Strings Attached
Martyr” mothers-in-law as internalizes, or people who focus a lot on their own perspectives and needs.
Describing a martyr as someone who gives a lot, but often with guilt attached. Martyrs say things like “after all I’ve done for you.” For example, they might volunteer to babysit but then complain how exhausted they feel afterward.
Couples in this dynamic might feel obligated to do whatever the martyr wants, worried about being seen as ungrateful. While it can be challenging, it’s important to stop reacting to guilt.
“Other people are allowed to have their feelings, and you can still choose what your boundaries. It’s like creating this fence around you where you open the fence to let Mom in, but you’re not going to let her guilt impact you.
The Victim may Feel Powerless
Victim mothers-in-law are also internalizes. The difference is that they don’t necessarily participate as much in helping the family as the martyr does.
In fact, they generally don’t feel like they have much control over their lives and view life as “happening” to them rather than something they have the power to change. Family members might feel pressure to always drop everything to help her or listen to her vents.
What’s tricky about the victim is that you can easily be pulled into this pattern of wanting to rescue them. That they don’t have to step in and make themselves their mother-in-law’s savior or therapist.
The Blamer Might Talk Behind your Back
Unlike victims (internalizers), blamers (externalizers) create conflict by criticizing or trying to control others.
This is someone who’s going to focus outside themselves and find fault in other people. Often, this dynamic has always been in the family and perhaps just never addressed until now.
For example, if the mother-in-law’s son is setting a boundary with her for the first time, she might believe her daughter-in-law convinced him to do it. As a result, blamers can make the daughter-in-law the scapegoat of the family.
The goal shouldn’t be to win over the blamer. It’s not your job to change that pattern. It’s your job to focus inward on your chosen family and then to set those boundaries together.
Controllers Want to Stick to Their Ways
A controller is another type of externalizing mother-in-law, one who believes her way is the best. She might criticize the daughter-in-law for not adhering to certain cultural, religious, or familial norms.
It can be a tough dynamic to navigate, the daughter-in-law might be tempted to present her argument or convince her mother-in-law that her way is good, too.
I remind people: you don’t need to argue with this person, You can instead trust Yeshua with your decision making skills rather than trying to convince other people to believe that your choice is OK.”
The Distancer Might Fear Overstepping
Balancers are mothers-in-law who can take in the perspectives of others. Sometimes, it might mean they keep their distance, not wanting to overstep. A distancer might live down the street but only visit a few times a year.
Distancing mothers-in-law could be distancing themselves to avoid conflict or just have different values when it comes to in-person family time. In some cases, distancers may simply be giving their child’s new family space.
For some families, that might work great. Others might yearn to bring the distancer closer by inviting them over more. Couples should be realistic about what’s possible to ask for, and what to accept. It’s not about their lovability or their worth.
Being direct with the mother-in-law about wanting more involvement, the couple who want more support should focus on building their family in other ways, such as reaching out to other family members, friends, and neighbors.
The Supporter Might be Hard to Read
Supporters are also balancers, defined by their ability to patiently listen and offer support. Many people see supporters as “hitting the jackpot” in terms of great mothers-in-law.
The only real downside of supporters is that they might be too hands-off or removed out of fear of intruding too much. This can make a daughter-in-law worry about what’s left unspoken.
I still emphasize to people, it’s just as important to work on really clear and healthy communication, For example, everyone has big expectations of events like a wedding or the birth of a child even if they don’t voice them.
Opening up a conversation, even when your mother-in-law seems to agree with everything, doesn’t just prevent issues down the line; it makes an already lovely relationship even stronger through Christ.
EVENTS
I will let you all know when my next book is published.
I’m teaching at the Centralia Community College for the Fall quarter.
If you’re interested sign up to the class on the college website.
These classes will be on How to Make Shower Scrubs, and my other class is on How to Make Massage Oils of your own.
HOW TO FIND ME
I will let you know when more book signings are going on. I can be found on Spotify, my podcast (bibletruthwarriorwomen.com) also on Riverside. FM, my Blog called (bibletruthwarriordevotionals.com)
My news articles can be found on (carmenhansen@substack.com)
Life Coaching site to schedule an appointment with me on my Blog site. Email me at writercarmenhansen@bibletruthwarriordevtionals.com
You can find me on (christianfaithpublishing.com), on my Author page to buy my book or read my Press Release.
I have my book also at Book and Brush book store in Chehalis, Wa.
MY SOCIAL MEDIA SITES
Facebook, Instagram, Telegram and Linked in.
Under Carmen Hansen.
BIBLE TEACHING CLASSES
Please Check them out. They have helped me get through this process of stepping out and being bold in Christ. I enjoy Women of Faith classes, Proverb 31 Women classes.
LIST OF MY BUSINESSES
Carmen’s Visual Effects store #1 and #2 on my Blog at (bibletruthwarriordevotionals.com)
I make all kinds of body products such as body butters, massage oils, body scrubs, lip and cuticle butters with mango butter etc.
There is a way to buy the body products online or call me. Take a look. It’s always good to care for yourself.
You can find my Artwork in greeting card form on my Blog called (bibletruthwarriordevotionals.com)
I take photos of nature and animals. I’ve been doing this business for a long time now. I am a birder.
Bible Truth Warrior Daughter in Christ. I am selling my book independently.
My book is at International shows now.
I am praying for you all! Thank you for subscribing to my News Journal. I hope that it will encourage you to know you’re not alone in these end of days.
I am writing a news journal to encourage my sisters and brothers in Christ. I published my first book called Bible Truth Warrior Daughter in Christ. You can find my book on Amazon, iTunes, Barnes and Noble and you can get them on e-book.
I’m a Relationship Coach, and These Are the Habits That Quietly Sabotage Love, I’ve Found
What to avoid if you want a healthy relationship.
Takeaways
Pick one relationship habit to work on today. Give that behavior the space and gentleness you need to rewrite that particular groove. Maybe it’s not assuming the worst when your date or your husband doesn’t text you back right away.
The changes you’re ready to make today are exactly what you need right now–and that’s enough through Yeshua’s guidance.
Eventually, the changes will add up, and you’ll have an entirely different set of habits that support healthier relationships in the Lord.
We’ve all had that moment in a relationship where it hits us: Wait, I’ve been here before... That sinking feeling of déjà vu, or I’ve been around this mountain before realizing you’re caught in the same relationship pattern just with a different person. That is right back to the codependent ways you walked away from before but here you are right back, What? Lord Help Me!
It’s not like we intentionally repeat these choices; instead, it’s more about how we unknowingly perpetuate deeply ingrained relationship habits that pull us back into the same cycles. From our family of origin and any destructive ways from other relationships.
Holding On to Fixed Narratives
“Bad” or unhelpful relationship habits often originate from beliefs and unresolved issues rooted in childhood. These experiences form the subconscious programming you tell yourself today, making it easy to see yourself through fixed lens.
Instead of getting stuck in that loop, try approaching your narrative with curiosity. By doing so, you open yourself to new perspectives and detach from your behaviors to see them as patterns not personal flaws to uncover meaningful insights. Through Yeshua’s scriptures, if we sit down and just read what He says we could learn so much.
For example, let’s say you’re typically drawn to partners who require constant support. Your usual story may focus on being a kind person, while the expanded interpretation highlights the deeper dynamic, perhaps the image of identifying as the “good” person. Letting go of the story frees you from seeking validation from the wrong people, allowing you to connect with the part of you that craves a balanced relationship where you aren’t always caretaking codependently. Getting our validation from Yeshua only, I have noticed doing that gives me confidence in myself but especially in Christ to guide me with my words.
Masking Your True Feelings
In my relationship coaching I’ve started a big theme is teaching women tools to regulate their emotions so they can express insecurities, hurt, pain, anger, and sadness without sweeping them under the rug.
When you’re in dysregulated emotional state, unhealthy habits surface. If you do it long enough, these habits become automatic. Some of these habits include dissociating, people pleasing, avoiding vulnerability, suppressing needs, and wearing a mask to deny who you are. While these behaviors provide temporary comfort, they also create a barrier to genuine connection. Over time, you may ignore red flags and attract people who have similar blocked emotional states.
But when you’re grounded and emotionally regulated, you’re able to make better relationship habits. You find the courage to speak the difficult yet essential truth. You learn to communicate directly. To start, practice being with your emotions as they come up. Notice where they’re located in your body and take the time to breathe and sit with them. Sit with Yeshua/Jesus by the river or in the woods. To sit and look and breathe His creation helps a lot. This act fosters emotional resilience, leading you to deeper intimacy with yourself and others.
Dwelling on Past Behaviors
When you’re in the midst of updating your self-concept, you’re peeling back layers of who you once were. It can be cringy, painful, and downright shameful to look at old behaviors. Oof, I can’t believe I did that. I really hurt that person. I didn’t respect myself back then. I wonder if people have judged me for my past actions when I didn’t know better.
It’s easy to beat yourself up. Please don’t. Studies show that self-compassion has consistently been linked to positive outcomes for mental health and well-being. Compassion has the capacity to extend forgiveness to all versions of yourself. Compassion recognizes your intrinsic worth beyond actions and past experiences. Compassion enables you to pick yourself back up and keep going.
By seeing yourself with grace, you create an internal safe space where you can grow. You can love your shadow and feel unconditional love, When you have your own back, with Yeshua holding you up you’ll feel braver to take the risk to do the more scary, vulnerable action that’ll yield healthier outcomes in the most Awesome ways.
Rushing Change
We’ve all been sold the myth of instant transformation. We set massive resolutions for New Year’s to reinvent ourselves overnight. We glamorize life-changing makeovers in the space of a one-hour TV show.
True change happens slowly, through a process called life transformation in Christ. Yeshua heals us slowly and changes us more like Him every day, once we give Him all of us.
How to Heal
Let me get into the arena and share how I’ve applied this approach in my personal life. I have a very unhealthy relationship habit of taking responsibility for other people’s feelings when they’re upset. A lot of this comes from being made to feel like things were my fault when I was growing up. It’s been a slow (and still ongoing) process, but I’m learning to:
Pause and check in with my body when I notice discomfort or tension
Identify and sit with uncomfortable emotions instead of pushing them aside via distraction
Slow down to not assume responsibility, and notice when I’m people-pleasing
Express my feelings about what’s going on even when it feels vulnerable or awkward
Trust others to share their perspective without assuming how they feel
Trust others to be able to handle their own emotions
Give myself permission to do what feels manageable at the moment
Honor my boundaries by recognizing when I’ve reached my limit and allowing time for recovery and detachment with my Lord.
Sure, I don’t always get it right. But I don’t need to land every action perfectly anymore. Being OK with making mistakes is growth! Being focused on self-acceptance versus self-improvement has made all the difference. When I spend time with Father God it really calms my heart and mind.
EVENTS
I have no Book Signings scheduled for now. I have my books locally at Books and Brush Bookstore.
I’m teaching at the Centralia Community College for the Fall Quarter.
If you’re interested sign up to the class on the college website.
These classes will be on How to Make Shower Scrubs, and my other class is on How to Make Massage Oils of your own.
HOW TO FIND ME
I will let you know when more book signings are going on. I can be found on Spotify, my podcast (bibletruthwarriorwomen.com)
also, on Riverside. FM, my Blog called (bibletruthwarriordevotionals.com)
My news articles can be found on carmenhansen.substack.com
Life Coaching take a look on my blog, to schedule an appointment with me call me at 360-880-4217 or on my email at writercarmenhansen@bibletruthwarriordevotionals.com
You can find me on (christianfaithpublishing.com), on my Author page to buy my book or read my Press Release.
My book is available for purchase on Amazon, I tunes, eBooks, Barnes and Noble and in Chehalis at Book and Brush Bookstore.
MY SOCIAL MEDIA SITES
Facebook, Instagram, Telegram and Linked in, Riverside.fm.
Find me as Carmen Hansen or Carmella.
BIBLE TEACHING CLASSES
Please Check them out. They have helped me get through this process of stepping out and being bold in Christ. I enjoy Women of Faith classes, Proverb 31 Women writing classes.
LIST OF MY BUSINESSES
Carmen’s Visual Effects store #1 and #2 on my Blog at (bibletruthwarriordevotionals.com) I make all kinds of body products such as body butters, massage oils, body scrubs, lip and cuticle butter with mango butter etc.
There is a way to buy my body products online or call me to buy. Take a look if you’d like. It’s always good to care for yourself.
You can find my Artwork in card form on my Blog called (bibletruthwarriordevotionals.com)
I take photos of Nature and Animals. I’ve been doing this business for a long time now. I am a Birder.
