Encouragement News Journal
I am writing a news journal to encourage my sisters and brothers in Christ. I published my first book called Bible Truth Warrior Daughter in Christ. You can find my book on Amazon, iTunes, Barnes and Noble and you can get them on e-book.
The Six Types of Mothers-in-law and How to get along with each one
Relationships with mothers-in-law can be complicated, especially for daughters-in-law.
By setting boundaries, couples can potentially avoid bigger conflicts and even estrangement.
More often, daughters-in-law desired to get along better with their mothers-in-law.
Women tend to be in charge of communicating and organizing events on behalf of the family.
They’re the ones sending the text to coordinate the upcoming holiday event.” As a result, there can be more friction between the two women if they clash on family traditions or the best way to raise your kids.
From years of experience, I have identified six main types of mothers-in-law. The idea is not so much that we put people in boxes. It’s so we can understand what behavior is showing up.
Some families, even after cutting off contact have reconciled after recognizing certain patterns and getting on the same page.
The Martyr gives a lot, with Strings Attached
Martyr” mothers-in-law as internalizes, or people who focus a lot on their own perspectives and needs.
Describing a martyr as someone who gives a lot, but often with guilt attached. Martyrs say things like “after all I’ve done for you.” For example, they might volunteer to babysit but then complain how exhausted they feel afterward.
Couples in this dynamic might feel obligated to do whatever the martyr wants, worried about being seen as ungrateful. While it can be challenging, it’s important to stop reacting to guilt.
“Other people are allowed to have their feelings, and you can still choose what your boundaries. It’s like creating this fence around you where you open the fence to let Mom in, but you’re not going to let her guilt impact you.
The Victim may Feel Powerless
Victim mothers-in-law are also internalizes. The difference is that they don’t necessarily participate as much in helping the family as the martyr does.
In fact, they generally don’t feel like they have much control over their lives and view life as “happening” to them rather than something they have the power to change. Family members might feel pressure to always drop everything to help her or listen to her vents.
What’s tricky about the victim is that you can easily be pulled into this pattern of wanting to rescue them. That they don’t have to step in and make themselves their mother-in-law’s savior or therapist.
The Blamer Might Talk Behind your Back
Unlike victims (internalizers), blamers (externalizers) create conflict by criticizing or trying to control others.
This is someone who’s going to focus outside themselves and find fault in other people. Often, this dynamic has always been in the family and perhaps just never addressed until now.
For example, if the mother-in-law’s son is setting a boundary with her for the first time, she might believe her daughter-in-law convinced him to do it. As a result, blamers can make the daughter-in-law the scapegoat of the family.
The goal shouldn’t be to win over the blamer. It’s not your job to change that pattern. It’s your job to focus inward on your chosen family and then to set those boundaries together.
Controllers Want to Stick to Their Ways
A controller is another type of externalizing mother-in-law, one who believes her way is the best. She might criticize the daughter-in-law for not adhering to certain cultural, religious, or familial norms.
It can be a tough dynamic to navigate, the daughter-in-law might be tempted to present her argument or convince her mother-in-law that her way is good, too.
I remind people: you don’t need to argue with this person, You can instead trust Yeshua with your decision making skills rather than trying to convince other people to believe that your choice is OK.”
The Distancer Might Fear Overstepping
Balancers are mothers-in-law who can take in the perspectives of others. Sometimes, it might mean they keep their distance, not wanting to overstep. A distancer might live down the street but only visit a few times a year.
Distancing mothers-in-law could be distancing themselves to avoid conflict or just have different values when it comes to in-person family time. In some cases, distancers may simply be giving their child’s new family space.
For some families, that might work great. Others might yearn to bring the distancer closer by inviting them over more. Couples should be realistic about what’s possible to ask for, and what to accept. It’s not about their lovability or their worth.
Being direct with the mother-in-law about wanting more involvement, the couple who want more support should focus on building their family in other ways, such as reaching out to other family members, friends, and neighbors.
The Supporter Might be Hard to Read
Supporters are also balancers, defined by their ability to patiently listen and offer support. Many people see supporters as “hitting the jackpot” in terms of great mothers-in-law.
The only real downside of supporters is that they might be too hands-off or removed out of fear of intruding too much. This can make a daughter-in-law worry about what’s left unspoken.
I still emphasize to people, it’s just as important to work on really clear and healthy communication, For example, everyone has big expectations of events like a wedding or the birth of a child even if they don’t voice them.
Opening up a conversation, even when your mother-in-law seems to agree with everything, doesn’t just prevent issues down the line; it makes an already lovely relationship even stronger through Christ.
EVENTS
I will let you all know when my next book is published.
I’m teaching at the Centralia Community College for the Fall quarter.
If you’re interested sign up to the class on the college website.
These classes will be on How to Make Shower Scrubs, and my other class is on How to Make Massage Oils of your own.
HOW TO FIND ME
I will let you know when more book signings are going on. I can be found on Spotify, my podcast (bibletruthwarriorwomen.com) also on Riverside. FM, my Blog called (bibletruthwarriordevotionals.com)
My news articles can be found on (carmenhansen@substack.com)
Life Coaching site to schedule an appointment with me on my Blog site. Email me at writercarmenhansen@bibletruthwarriordevtionals.com
You can find me on (christianfaithpublishing.com), on my Author page to buy my book or read my Press Release.
I have my book also at Book and Brush book store in Chehalis, Wa.
MY SOCIAL MEDIA SITES
Facebook, Instagram, Telegram and Linked in.
Under Carmen Hansen.
BIBLE TEACHING CLASSES
Please Check them out. They have helped me get through this process of stepping out and being bold in Christ. I enjoy Women of Faith classes, Proverb 31 Women classes.
LIST OF MY BUSINESSES
- Carmen’s Visual Effects store #1 and #2 on my Blog at (bibletruthwarriordevotionals.com)
I make all kinds of body products such as body butters, massage oils, body scrubs, lip and cuticle butters with mango butter etc.
There is a way to buy the body products online or call me. Take a look. It’s always good to care for yourself.
- You can find my Artwork in greeting card form on my Blog called (bibletruthwarriordevotionals.com)
- I take photos of nature and animals. I’ve been doing this business for a long time now. I am a birder.
- I am a Certified Life Coach. Bible Truth Warrior Women Life Coaching. Call me on 360-880-4217 or on my email at writercarmenhansen@bibletruthwarriordevotionals.com).
My first book published is called:
- Bible Truth Warrior Daughter in Christ. I am selling my book independently.
- My book is at International shows now.
I am praying for you all! Thank you for subscribing to my News Journal. I hope that it will encourage you to know you’re not alone in these end of days.
Bible Truth Warrior Devotionals 