10 Steps for Discussing the Trivial to the Traumatic with your Partner

1. Get comfortable and if it’s a difficult topic you plan to discuss, go someplace relatively “neutral” works best. Don’t talk about money in bed, for instance.
2. Give your partner your full attention. Turn off or put down any distracting technology such as your cell phone or laptop. Lean in towards your partner/hubby a little bit. Let your body-language send a clear message of connection especially if you are concerned that topic may create distance, at first.
3. Look at your partner and make eye contact. Don’t try and “stare down” your partner, but don’t send a message that you’re afraid to face your partner, either. If your eyes wander, bring them back to your partner’s face.
4. Open up with an “I statement” that takes the pressure off your partner. This doesn’t mean something like “I need you to change,” either! Own your own feelings and use language that indicates your awareness that each of us is responsible for our own thoughts and behavior.
5. Invite your partner to share his perceptions that use an open question (one that doesn’t invite a one- or two-word answer).
6. Don’t interrupt! Stay focused, attentive, and connected. Even if you particularly like or simply don’t agree with what is being said. Hang in there and keep your focus on the goal of honest communication.
7. Reflect back to your partner/hubby what you think your partner is saying check in with your partner to make sure you are hearing the overall message, not just the words. Check back in with him, “What I hear you saying is…” or “If I understand you correctly, then I think you feel…” This lets your partner know that you really care about the message being conveyed and that you are invested in making sure you heard it accurately. It also helps you empathize with your partner’s perspective, it’s amazing how different a relationship can look to two different people!
8. Use collaborative language and recognize that when the two of you are in a room, Yeshua is present with you both. To help your relationship. Marriage counselors are taught that working with a couple means there are time to reflect on your relationship with them in the room as a mentor for you both.
9. If there’s a problem that you are trying to solve, communicate your ideas for solutions. Maybe something like, “Well, perhaps we could try…” Or “What if I did … and you did …” Or, maybe even better yet, “I’m stuck. What do you think we need to do next?”
10. Keep the communication flowing, be willing to listen, make sure you are really hearing the message your partner/hubby is sending, and don’t be afraid to say you don’t know or understand what he is saying.
11. Keep trusting Yeshua/Jesus to help you understand better in time and in prayer.

I hope this will help and give you an idea of what can be done on a better communication with your mate. I pray that Yeshua will keep guiding you through this life. And that you will keep trusting Him to show you how to communicate better.

I spent some relaxing time with Yeshua last week. I am a blessed daughter of the King. He’s got me in His hands holding me and reminding me where I’ve come from and how He’s gotten me this far. My mind and heart have been so at peace. Gosh, at first, I didn’t know if I wanted to go to the ocean. But now I’m so grateful that I did.

I read books and my Bible, and I got to do crafts. It was so nice to walk the beach every day. It was enjoyable to just do what I wanted to do or not do. I did some self-care too. The weather was nice, I went to a wooded area on the beach and hung out there. I practiced my blowgun and took awesome pictures with my beautiful camera.

So, now I’m home my dogs missed me and jumped all over me with kisses. As you know I’m the only hiking buddy for them. It was very nice to see them and walk with them in the woods again. My Frankie is getting older, he seemed to have missed me way more than my other dog, Gracie. It was nice to see Dave my hubby too. We actually spent some time together over the weekend. We went and saw a few art studios. That’s always fun for me since I’m an artist and I enjoy other artists art.

For now, I’m just trying to settle back into the home life of chores and getting things done around here. I’m getting ready to have a few ladies over to my house for our Bible Truth Warrior Women Gathering. I try to do this gathering once a month but because of the summer we haven’t had it for a few months. I’m also getting ready for the Apple Harvest Festival the first Saturday of October. I sell my body products there in my booth. Not sure if I will do anymore booths anywhere else yet. Yeshua will let me know. Do you like the picture I found for this post? It’s similar to the one on my business cards.

This picture is the sunsets here at the ocean. The soft sand between your toes while walking on the beach. One of my favorite things to do here. I am relaxing in the warm and cool ocean breezes. It always takes me a couple of days to just let go of all of my stresses. To hand them all to Yeshua.

Today I went out to see my girlfriend I hadn’t seen for four and a half months. She owns a cute gift and home decor/antiques shop close to the beach. It was so nice to talk and catch up. Yeshua/Jesus gave us some time with no one coming in and we got to pray together. What a blessing to me and to her. On my way back to the beach cabin I went into the antique shop next to my cabin and was able to talk and hang out with my other girlfriend here at the beach.

I have been drawing/ painting and been doing some crafts. It’s been fun and calming. When I left home on my way to the ocean cabin “I thought I don’t need to go for a week”. Well, now I’m here and starting to finally relax and spend time with Yeshua. He’s been reminding me how much He loves me and that He has great plans for me to bring Him Glory. I’m excited to just be quiet and walk the beaches. I know it’s good for me. Sometimes it’s hard to just let go and let Yeshua work in me for the good. Do you know what I mean?

Well, I am going to the beautiful area of Mo clips. To sit and rest in the arms of my Father. I am excited to get away from all of the heat, my dogs, my cats, my house. My husband has been good to me lately. I haven’t left the home front for four and a half months now. Yes, I’m needing some sanity. I’m a thinker and I haven’t gotten much time away because of the summer with its horrible heat this year.

I am looking forward to time to myself. I have missed being able not have to take care of everybody at home. Don’t get me wrong I love all of my animals and my hubby. It’s just time for me too. I call my time away my writers retreat. I will be signing the contract with my publisher to publish my first book. It’s called Bible Truth Warrior Daughter. It’s about my life story.

My next book I’m working on is called Bible Truth Warrior Women that inspire me. I’m excited to see if my publisher wants to publish this next book of mine. So, I can keep encouraging my sisters in Christ through my books. And through my podcasts too. Like I said before I’m so excited to get some time away with my Lord Yeshua and myself. Thank you for all of your prayers and thoughts toward me and my family.

Well, as you can see that picture isn’t us, we forgot to take a picture. We did go out on Dave’s bike yesterday with his friends. I did ride the back of his bike, and the seat was not comfortable at all. I prefer to be riding my own bike. My bike needs some more work.

Dave, my hubby said he will be fixing and rebuilding my bike this winter with his friend at his bike shop. I’ve been hearing Dave say that for years. I’ll keep hoping and praying, we’ll see uh?!

Anyways, we did ride from his friend’s bike shop in Chehalis to Packwood. We did stop a couple of times. The weather in the morning was cool and it was a dream to look at all of Yeshua’s creation. I felt closer to my hubby and got to see every leaf through the glistening sun on them. It felt like we were about to touch the mountains.

I do enjoy riding with Dave, but I still would rather ride my own bike. I know someday I will. I’m excited about that adventure. I was hoping I could ride with my son and my hubby. That would be one of those things I want to do before I go home to Yeshua someday. I have to say I did enjoy the ride just my buttock hurt on that horrible seat. It got me thinking of autumn coming soon. That’s what excites me too.