Here I am at the ocean again, I am so relaxed and at peace. To sit in this quaint cabin alone away from my animals and the house with all of its responsibilities. It’s nice and I’m able to hear from Yeshua better than at home. I’m able to do what I want to do, take care of me.

It’s been stormy with high crazy winds and rain for days here. Finally, after three days, we get to have sunny days. I have taken hikes on the beach a few times now. I have found some shells, but I’ve been mostly just walking close to the water’s edge, where I feel Yeshua’s power deep within me. It’s a calming effect for me. At first, I didn’t much like it until I stayed here a few days and suddenly I feel calmed down inside. I am mystified and feel like Yeshua is cradling me in His arms.

I have been reading more and writing more since I got here at the ornate cabin experience. I came to realize that I always say not so nice words about my earthly dad. Like he never stood up for me nor fought for me. So, I thought all men sucked. But Yeshua showed me the reason I felt that way. It’s because all men have let me down, and it started with my dad. All those years ago, down deep I expected my dad to save me from my mother. I know he knew my mother was sick mentally, but he seemed to not mind leaving my brother and I there with her. And when I left my mothers at 15 1/2 yrs. old. Went to live with my dad for a very short time. I am back from my summer break. And I got back to my dad’s and my cloths and stuff were all packed up. My stepmother hated me, didn’t want me there anymore. My dad had a chance to stand up for me, but he didn’t have the balls enough to do that.

All the years I’ve lived with no dad to guide me in what kind of man I should have married. He was never there for me. He ignored me and never rescued me from those awful men I chose. Because I didn’t get good advice nor love. All I wanted was to have my dad notice me as a young girl. But he never cared to notice me much at all. It’s a sad thing.

I look at my life now as a woman still learning and maturing. I have a dad his name is Yeshua. He’s my true abba/daddy. He loves me and sees me. He will never ignore me, and He has shown me way better love and grace than I’ve ever had from any man or mother. Yeshua is my all in all always and forever. He’ll never fail me nor forsake me. And He is always with me anywhere I go. I finally know what true love is, and it comes only from my Abba/ Yeshua/ Jesus.