My life has changed lately. I realized my husband doesn’t need me at all for very important decisions in our lives. I have been very hurt by this, but I know Yeshua/Jesus is with me through all of this. I am keeping my healthy boundaries on myself. I know it’s time to take care of me more than worry or be concerned of this marriage anymore. I have given this marriage to Yeshua. He’s the one who brought it together. So, it’s up to my husband and God to work on this.

My son just got engaged with a sweet lady. He lives all the way in Texas. I don’t get to see him, but I do talk to him sometimes. When he’s not so busy. My self-care program is to rest in Yeshua more often and then go to my medicinal massages, facials, manicures with nails and pedicures. There are some things I do have to make myself focus one day a week is my day to go to a movie or to meet with a girlfriend for lunch. I have to say it’s so hard for me to do this. After years of taking care of my son and my husband way too much. It’s a weird feeling for me. To put Yeshua first then me as second and then others column yes, my husband is in that column now.

I’ve lived serving everyone and even my animals for way too long. I feel selfish for taking care of me. I started to read a book called Beauty for Ashes by Joyce Meyer. It’s been very good; it’s got me thinking about things in my life and my own road I’ve been on. Being married most of my life. And realizing I didn’t want to be alone and wanted a mate to have fun within this crazy life. All through the marriages I’ve felt alone, and no one wants to hang out and have fun. I really thought there was something wrong with me. But now I realize there’s nothing wrong with me at all. They all never wanted to enjoy life ever and they had problems to work through, but never wants to work through them because they have been taught that they don’t have to grow. That their wives will pick up the slack and they don’t have to be accountable ever in their lives. Their mommy taught them that they don’t have to.

Anyways, I know I’m getting on men, ok well I am in a way. I have precious sisters in the Lord. They all suffer by being married to weak men who don’t want to grow in the Lord. It’s too hard for them. I am not saying it’s all their fault but in a way it is. I know it’s our society we live in. I pray men will show up someday in their marriages and prove in Yeshua’s strength to show their wives that they will stand with them. Then we’ll see God in them and admire them in Christ. Yeshua told me just recently that He will love me no matter how this marriage goes. That to Him marriage is important but not more than having a solid relationship with Him.